Well you just can’t escape the headlines proclaiming 2006 the year of portable video. I doubt there is a single cell phone or PDA manufacturer on the planet who hasn’t already released several SKU’s with video capability. Talk about gadget mania.

I thought it was dangerous enough already that people were high-tailing it down the freeway chatting away on their cell phone. Now they’ll be holding it in front of them, watching an episode of “Desperate Housewives” or “CNN” whilst simultaneously yelling into their walkie-talkie phones, because of course you need a walkie-talkie or speakerphone so that you don’t have to hold the phone up to your ear. How can you watch that lovely video stream if your phone is next to your ear?

According to Nielsen, we already watch too much TV. Now we can watch it everywhere we go, just like we all seem to be on one permanent telephone conversation throughout the day. I’m waiting for the headline on The Onion to report a new cosmetic surgery to surgicaly attach your cellphone to your ear. Wait a minute, what am I saying? If they do that, how are they going to watch TV?

And what will be the result of the year of the video phone? Well apart from an even larger landfill of redundant last year’s model cell phones, I predict that 2006 will be the year that everyone loses their eyesight. Don’t people have any idea of the damage that peering at that tiny 2×3 screen all day will do? My tip for 2006 - invest in eyeglass or contact lens manufacturers, or LASIK centres. I predict a huge boom in these industries. Buy stock in Bausch & Lomb and watch your portfolio double in the next few years.

Friday, January 20th, 2006 at 4:22 pm : General.
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