Who thought up this dumbass idea?
Unless you either live on Mars or have somehow managed to operate your entire life without a credit card or indeed any service operated by a financial institution; you cannot have failed the trend in recent years to include a fake credit card in with those ultra annoying credit card applications that fill your mailbox every day of the year.
If you fall into the former case (what’s the weather like on Mars anyway?) then just wait - thousands of fake credit cards are winging their way to you via space craft. We’re only sorry you didn’t receive the earlier shipment sent aboard Beagle II. If you fall into the latter category, please please email me the secret and I’m itching to know just what you have saved for your retirement. A million cans of baked beans perhaps?
Digressions and cheap humour aside, what dumbass thought that by gluing a little fake credit card with “Your name here” on to a credit card application would make everyone jump and sign up immediately? I mean what on EARTH (or Mars) are they thinking?! It looks so real. Cool! Let me detach it and go and use it! Oh wait - what does this mean: “This is not an actual charge card” ? Ah rats! I was sooo fooled.
I mean, do people walk around with wallets crammed with these things to make themselves look important? Please, mister smart marketing man, please explain why this little fake card impresses me so much that I want to sign up for your real card? Oooh… such a purdy shade of gold - I must have a real one.
The dumbest thing is that now those little mail thiefs can quickly identify credit card applications just by feeling the bump in the envelope. Now it is just that little bit easier for them to steal the applications and fill them in with the fake ID’s they stole from ChoicePoint or that Harvard laptop. Except - I bet even the thieves are not impressed with the stupid, tacky, fake cards.
The upside: I too can tell by feeling the envelope. Now I no longer need to open it and read the marketing drivel - I can just put the whole envelope, card and all through my industrial shredder.
Nice, mister marketing man. You’ve saved me opening your envelope, thus wasting the entire contents therein. Smart move. Great. Give yourself a raise! Oh, you embezzled company funds in an accounting fraud just last week? Well ok then.
